When frogs rain from the sky

When frogs rain from the sky, things can get really messy. Each slimy, slithery, green, orange, brown, and black thing falls flat on its soft belly, bursting into even slimier squashed liquid splashing on everything around.
If you have children playing outside, “its advisable to get them indoors” says the met department. Frogs hate kids.

‘It is best to keep tubs of hot water in your garden and on roads,’ says the article in the First and Only city magazine. Frogs can fall in, dissolve and become jelly, gooey and slippery. You can then eat that stuff. “Rain frog topping” or “whipped frog Irish cream” on a simple day with coffee and conversation. Or fill it up in bottles and gift it to your child to throw it on frogs. Why did you think frogs hate kids?
One frog cannot take another frog in semi solid/liquid state on its skin. It’s creepy for the poor thing. They hate skin on skin, that’s why they mate when they are extremely bored and have nothing else to do. So imagine that much skin!

Now if it goes on raining and frogs are still out of the sky, and ‘whipped frog cream’ is still not your taste, hunt for these creatures by the river and shoot them still. Kill them all. Take those bottles you filled for your child last monsoon with frog squash and let your little ones take care of them. Believe it or not, frog skin is really sensitive to contaminated expired stuff.

And I have no idea why I’m writing this. But I’ve written it with great contempt. I hate frogs and I just had one jumping up at me in my mom’s garden. And not too long back, I saw Magnolia, which is a fine film, but it confirmed my fear of frog rain.
And since then, my imagination has forced me to pass on my frustration to others. Forgive me…

Comments

Jax said…
fikar naaaat!...
if the Mumbai met dept says it will rain frogs then thats about the only evidence that i will believe attesting to the contrary... i.e it will NOT rain frogs

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